| Oh Banquo, it's you. I didn't see you sitting over there. |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|10:24 pm] |
So we went to a party on Saturday. Interesting. I want to tell you all about it, but to tell you about the second party, I should probably begin with the first party - and so we start the journey to finding our kinks again. This could be a sort of guide to navigating the waters of perv to locate the people who play as you play, and foster a safe environment to do provocative things.
As I think I mentioned, we found a few leads by accidentally stumbling across a store that sells clothing to dirty slutty whores, when we were looking for halloween-y things. My son is actually very comfortable in those surroundings, so we looked at whorey stripper boots while the lovely wife struck up the purple haired salesgirl with the cute ass. Minutes later, we had some basic information about the kink scene here, and a few leads to track down. Here's what we found out about Houston:
- Fetlife is the online thing here; most players are on it regularly.
- There are very few public events or groups.
- There are many, many private groups that hold parties often, if you can get on their list.
OK, so we don't have much for proper Gateway groups, but there is one called EROS, kinda central to Houston. I attended the intro meeting and we went to their Halloween party two weeks ago. We met some people, did some things to generate interest/buzz, and met a couple interesting people who will lead to much fun in the future - including the party this past weekend. We are on a good trajectory, but still just getting started.
I will give you details of both parties, but first, let me give you the overall impression of the Houston Kink Scene from my limited interactions. I know that the first impression isn't the most accurate, but this is the face Houston presents, so my thoughts have some value if anything is to improve.
- Sucky Music in Houston has fully infiltrated the kink parties. Seriously, try and find a decent radio station in Houston, and you will fail. It's the worst music scene I've ever experienced. I don't know country music stations, but they probably suck, too. No good shows, no good live music, radio sucks, and I am very sorry to say, the party had the Worst dungeon music I've ever heard. I like Cheryl Crow, I really do. I respect En Vogue for their crossover successes. I wonder what happened to Alanna Miles after her one-hit "Black Velvet". THIS IS NOT KINKY WHIPPING MUSIC!!!1! The last party music was the soundtrack to yard work, or maybe fixing a car. It's what you listen to at work, if you work where you can have the radio on. DJ culture has missed this city, somehow, some way, it just glided right over their big hair and cowboy hats, and this town has no beat. It's fucking killing me.
- No Cameras Ever! Well, that's no fun. I know the reasons why people did that in the olden days, but a lot of people about my age, and most of the people younger do not care if someone else has a picture of their naked ass. Within kink, most people do not put these pictures on the interwebs without some censorship, because anyone who violates that isn't invited to more parties. But more to the point, a lot of people just don't care about a naked picture on the internet, censored or not, because really, who fucking cares? Most of us are unemployed. Yes, I know, politicians and moral clauses in employment contracts and kids old enough to find these pictures on milf.com. So have a photography room that you know to stay out of if you don't want your kids to see this picture. But they don't allow you to pull out a phone if it has a camera on it. No fun for T.
- Very, very friendly, warm and open people. With a short time here, we are already invited to parties we just can't attend, and everyone has been so glad to see us.
- There is a fairly major party every damn weekend. Seriously, every singly weekend of the year, there is a party of 40 or more, somewhere in the area, and it's advertised. Wow. I thought Ohio was full of kinky swingers, but this is a seriously dirty town. Now, by "dirty", I mean that general sort of dirty that includes anything south of the big Vanilla line. Doesn't mean that it's all our kink, but with this many parties, there will be some who do it like we do. But still - every weekend? We haven't done enough to know if it's the same small group of people who have no other hobbies, or if it's just a lot of dirty people, but we will find out.
- It's a safe place to be a perv, within reason. Finally, we learned that the swinger/kink community is tolerated by local law enforcement. There are active swinger clubs, and everyone knows the rules of mutual non-aggression, so no homes have been raided in living memory.
...
The EROS Halloween party was our first Hello to the community, and it was a decent venue: over 100 kinklings all in costume and drinking and playing nice. We said hello to the one or two people we met online first, and then found a girl we are very interested in - I'll tell you that we did make contact with a girl we are very interested in. Like, my poor little wife couldn't say "hello", we are so crushy on her. But no point in talking about it until it happens, so be patient and think pervy thoughts, and there may be some hot action here soon.
So it's a big group, encompassing all ages, all types, and of course we are attracted to some, and others we aren't. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. To them, we are someone new... but new how? New to the scene? New to the lifestyle? It's our first party, so we should show them a little of what we do. Did I mention it was Lisa's birthday?
We met a few young and attractive couples, but most were either standoffish, inexperienced, or in the third case - I don't know. They seemed to like us, but after the party, we never heard from them again. Lost interest, or lost number? We need to print little cards with our contact info.
The short version of our Halloween party scene is this: I found a group of people to administer birthday spankings, and through the sacrificial lamb of my wife's ass, we got a good idea of how a lot of those people play. There is no long version of the scene because I couldn't take any pictures so I don't remember which was the good rubber nun and the bad rubber nun.
We presented only one small aspect of our lives - my wife as group submissive, me as a light-hearted top doing a show. I don't know if this was the right thing to do, on both sides of the equation. On our side, it gives an impression, and an honest one in the sense that we are these things - but rarely. Far more often, we take a very different approach with our intensity, and certainly with my wife's submission. She doesn't just hand it out to strangers, and we gave the impression that she is more the Party Sub, type girl.
On the other side, we let her poor little ass be the crucible for us to determine if you are the kind of player we like. Some are - they were playful, they talked to her, they tickled and stroked and teased and slapped. Others, the cliche'd Dominatrix-type, they just wanted to hit her as hard as they could. Dull, uncaring, and with no regard to the next guy in line - the Domme just wants to finish the ass off, be so hardcore just to dare the sub to safeword out. While it's good to know who they are, it took away from her fun.
I'll admit, I should have maybe gone about this a different way. We didn't need to make a big splash on the first night. There was that one girl we wanted to impress, and we did, but we could have done that over time, too. We got a lot of contacts, but Lisa also had some birthday spanks from people who we could have skipped. I don't know - it's not what I wanted to do for her birthday, but this was our first night out since we moved here.
We left shortly after our scene and the recovery snuggle. We did make out with the girl we had our eyes on (great ass), and Lisa did suck my cock a little - but it was the only cock-sucking I saw (and I am always on the lookout for that), but sometimes, just when the party gets rolling, it's the best time to leave - because otherwise, you are there till dawn, and this was her brother's first night alone with the baby.
We have been talking to the girl since, and even had her over for morning coffee. As soon as something happens, I'll let you know.
...
Two weeks go by, and we are at another party. Up until now, you may have been wondering about the title of this post - or you are only now looking at it. It's a reference to Macbeth, and the wife and I were trying to remember the right name of the ghost - and we kept thinking it was Duncan, but no, it's Banquo. This isn't about murder or even the wearing of kilts, no. This is about a ghost at your victory dinner.
Anywho - what do you call it when you are having a grand old time, everything is peachy-keen, and suddenly you notice ghost from your past, something from years ago and many miles away, just staring at you? This isn't a friendly, Patrick Swayze or Alan Rickman doing the same thing but much smarter kind of ghost, but a sudden horror - fucking Banquo, staring at you. It doesn't have to be someone you literally or figuratively murdered, just the moment where you freeze, do or say something awkward, then hustle for any excuse to leave. If someone asks what happened, instead of saying, oh I was totally shocked when I saw BLANK from way back when I lived in BLANK and there was that whole poly-drama thing when we were all high on BLANK and I [did a bad bad thing]- you can truncate this, and just tell the person that Banquo showed up.
So Saturday night we drive 45 minutes north of the city to the little suburb of Spring, TX - which was once a tiny little cow-town all by itself, until the urban sprawl got close enough to build stupidly big houses for those who wanted bargain luxury, and were willing to pay for it with a hellish commute. Yes, we were in Spring, TX, at a very well appointed private residence which seems to serve little other purpose than to be a kinky swinger play-place. Smaller party, held by a man who was in line with our beliefs that cocks come OUT of the leather pants at some point in the night, they don't go back in and they don't want to.
And it almost happened, too. A few factors interfered with our happy fun leather sex evening: some early departures, a planned entertainment not showing up, our feeling that the people more attracted to us, were not attractive to us. This isn't universal - two couples were appealing, and of the two, one couple was very attractive to us, and we hope to play with them, soon. Then there was the Too Much Food, oh and how can I forget the Cheryl Crow / En Vogue mow-the-lawn mix on the sound system, which just wasn't doing it for us. But aside from those things, we saw forced orgasms, exposed pussies, glass dildo aerobics, and actual fucking (not just from ourselves). In fact, I was invited to sodomize the birthday girl, and she had a very nice looking anus from my spanking inspection. But that's when Banquo showed up.
I missed it - if you aren't Macbeth, then you miss it. I just got the message that it was time to go. We politely said our thanks and goodbye's and I gathered up the toy bag and tried to catch my wife, who was sprinting up the street in the slutty pump heels. That's a real talent. In the car she told me - and she's not going to tell you. I will say that it's nothing she did, just a really, really, really awkward moment that kind of sticks with you. She's not going to tell you, so please don't ask. It's killing her that I am saying this much - but she likes the "Banquo Phenomenon" name so much, she's agreed to let me go this far. Don't ask.
But you can see this, right? I mean, you are in a little planned community in the middle of Spring, Texas; at a suburban kinky swinger houseparty, and a ghost from 15 years ago and two time zones away walks in the door. That would spook anyone. She's had time to think about it, and she's going to find the person again and just have the conversation and clear the air. It was a damn long time ago, after all, and it will not interfere with our getting to know this great area and all these fun people.
We went home, put the baby to bed, and had morning coffee with our crush, who it turns out lives only a couple blocks away from us - so this could turn into a nice midweek thing? We're hoping, anyway. And, that was our weekend. Nothing really to report, but a lot of progress to setting up a good situation. Not every step was exactly right, but I think we are moving in the right direction to re-create what we had in Phoenix.
One thing I've noticed - the age/shyness curve. So far, the pro-sex kinklings we've found have all been older than us. Some are quite attractive and we look forward to playing with them, but I can't help but notice that of all the young couples, none seem to be sexual players. I assume it's for the same reason TNG/Youth groups self-generate - that these younglings are sexual and kinky, but don't want to bang around with people twice their age (which now includes me), and in many cases, 3 times. They are out there, and we want to attract a broader base with us in the middle - and it's all about attracting them to us.
On that note, I've had a couple people on fetlife contact me about the parties we have, and how we made all that happen. Most of it has been online networking and then doing the right things near the right people, but here is a short and evolving list of rules and practices that make the hot sex come to us:
- No online drama, ever. Drama happens, but you never acknowledge or post about it on you fetlivespacecollarbook. Ever.
- Post pictures of what you really do, and make every picture count. Don't flood, nothing repetitive - make each one a jewel.
- Good writing on what you like and how you play. Write how you speak, and honestly assess your own kinks and needs. No one is the Dom for All Seasons.
- Sometimes, you have to play with someone you aren't crazy about, in order to get to the next level. Most groupie-whores don't really enjoy blowing the security guard, but it's worth it to get backstage. Be a sport about it, have fun, and don't talk bad about anyone you play with.
I need to say that again. Don't talk bad about anyone you play with. I've rarely done this, but sometimes I just want to. I shouldn't, and it's hard to reign that in, but I believe you will do a lot better in your community if you simply keep your mouth shut. If someone is suddenly no longer invited to your party and you don't play with them anymore, then people will figure it out. Besides, you are lucky you get to do this, play this way, with anyone. Thank them all in your own way, but be gracious. It's just polite.
- Tell a story. Our experience translates to a narrative - what is yours? People will be attracted to your story, so make it attractive without embellishment. If it seems to be missing something, go do that thing. But make your primary advertisement (fetlife, collarme, myspace, whatever) tell a story about who you are.
- Make the people around you better. One thing that made our parties in Phoenix so good, was that we honestly wanted to improve everyone's experience. Yes, we push the limits of pain and perversion, but we also pushed people to know themselves, care for themselves, and to be good players. We encouraged friendships outside the playspace, and made good connections, people we miss very much.
I feel these things made us a success in creating what we wanted. We are working on that again here, and it's going together a lot faster than it did the first time. I don't know when the next party is that we are attending, but if we want to - there's a party every saturday night.
- T. |
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